Are you afraid to fail?
Many of us are.
I know that I used to fear failure.
In fact, failure is downright frightening for many people.
When we fail, we feel like our world is falling apart and there's nothing good in our lives anymore. We begin to focus only on the negatives things and questioning ourselves.
Am I not good enough?
Where did I go wrong?
Though it is common for us to think this way, we must also remember that there are also positive facets to failing. We can acknowledge our situation and learn from our failures. Doing so allows us to move forward quicker, expand our perspectives, increase our resolve, and strengthen our determination. Despite being scary, we must learn to accept and embrace failure. To do otherwise is futile. The only way to truly live our best life is to keep moving forward.
Here are some things on how to handle failure and realize that moving on is crucial:
Accept that you Failed.
Acceptance is the first stepping to overcoming the negative feelings of failure. If you cannot take responsibility for your actions, you will never move on and start a better life. Therefore, accepting things as they are is crucial. Embrace your mistakes, and congratulate yourself for being so strong.
Keep in mind:
You can't control everything in your life, and that's OK. There is no need to. Life is beautiful, and you should live every moment as if it is your last one. Criticizing every wrong decision will only depress and discourage you. You can't change the past, and you shouldn't try. Acknowledge it, learn from it, and don't repeat your mistakes. This is how you evolve.
You made mistakes. OK, I can't change that, but what can you change? Are there any life lessons you took out of the situation? Understand that it takes time and effort to become strong, and you are exactly where you need to be. Becoming better takes strength and patience. Accepting things as they are will change your life. Before working on anything else, work on acceptance. It's the most critical step of the process.
Be Honest with Yourself:
You can lie to others, but you should never lie to yourself. Being honest sets you free! You failed – why? Can you think of at least three reasons? Where did you get stuck? Staying honest to yourself is a continual process. If you are not used to being truthful, remind yourself every day that you have to.
Keep a journal:
You don't have to note down everything, only the highlights of your day. What are your goals for today? How are you going to accomplish them? And most importantly, why?
Ask for help:
We might be too proud to do that sometimes, but that's never smart. Asking for feedback or help from the right people is a good thing. It means we accept that we are stuck, and we want to evolve.
Envision the future:
What does your future look like at? Do you think you can be successful with your current way of thinking, or are there things you need to change? If your answer to the latter questions is "there are," write them down, and start evolving.
Make "I am honest with myself" a daily mantra! It will change your life, I promise.
Practice Positive Thinking:
When you focus only on the negative things, you will only drain your energy and feel sorry for yourself. Therefore, it will not help you move forward or grow.
Be compassionate with yourself and avoid negative self-talk:
Remember, you accepted and embraced your mistakes. You were honest and acknowledged the actions you could've done differently. That's enough. No need to beat yourself up; move on.
Meditate, or practice mindfulness and yoga:
Be present at the moment rather than dwelling on the past. Work with your thoughts, and slowly shift to an optimistic mindset.
Thinking positively does not mean ignoring what happened. Be realistic when evaluating yourself, but don't emphasize the negatives.
Evaluate Your Circle of Friends:
A favorite Jim Rohn quote of mine is, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." Think about it: if you surround yourself with gloomy and pessimistic people, that's what you'll become. Evaluate your circle of friends and see who should remain in your life. It's perfectly OK to let go of the people who do not support your growth. Even if there's only one friend left after your "evaluation," – at least you can always count on them, and isn't that what truly matters at the end of the day.
You've accepted your mistakes; now it's time to move forward. You are finally here – the most significant moment of your life. It's time to move on. "But how?" one might ask. This is where motivation comes into place. Set aside expectations, and focus only on the present. Don't play the what-if game; "what could happen if I do this or that." If you feel like it's the correct decision, trust your intuition.
Read motivational books and watch motivational movies. It's always good to have someone tell you that you can make it. Even if you may have already realized that for yourself, hearing it from someone else makes the message more powerful. Map out your goals and think about what you want to achieve in the long-run. Ask yourself, What is my why?
When you feel like giving up, think about why you started and continue working toward your goals. Staying motivated is essential to moving forward with your life. Be strong, resilient, and don't let negative thoughts affect you.
As I previously mentioned, improving continually is the only way to move up the ladder of success. You're staying motivated, and that is amazing. But who succeeds in life without perseverance?
Do you know how many times Thomas Edison failed before creating the lightbulb? Thousands. But his perception of that was, "I haven't failed. I've just found 10,000 ways not to make a lightbulb."
Lastly, make sure you care about yourself. Concentrating only on success and forgetting about yourself can be detrimental. Take time to read, enjoy good times with your friends, laugh, and nurture your soul. Life starts with loving yourself.
You got this!